sufficient

These last four months have probably been some of the most growing, healing and wonderful months I have experienced in a long time. Life is good, i have a wonderful little home, i am surrounded by life giving friendships, my family (although far away) supports me in outstanding ways, and i am finally on a path where I am overwhelmed every day with how right it feels. I have let go of anger, allowed myself to forgive, and walked confidently into this new season of life sure of who I am and the direction I am going. These are all really beautiful things, these are all really good things, things that I have wanted and ached for over and over again in the last couple of years. Most days I feel extremely lucky and wonderfully blessed.

So why is it that I stop needing Christ when life is good? Why is it so easy to need God when life is hard and messy and your direction is unclear and your heart is broken. I can look at this last year, even these last two months and see and feel the way God has worked and healed my heart, yet I wake up every morning and go about my day without spending time in the word, or thanking God for everything that I have and everything that I am blessed with. I don't like that. I want to wake up every morning not being able to start my day without allowing myself to be spiritually fed.

I want to need God, I want to need that time and that nourishment more than anything else. I want to trust and depend on God every day, the way it's so easy too when seasons are dark. When you are broken and cannot see the beauty of what you have, there is room for God. I admire the people who keep that room there when the seasons change. I want to be one of those people, I want to be able to have the same dependence and trust no matter what is happening or where I am.

This past sunday in church the pastor touched on this topic, and preached on the verse, "Blessed are the poor in spirit," He talked about how God is sufficient, how that is all we need and it is up to us to go to our knees every day and admit that we cannot do it any other way. Even when life is good and beautiful, we are all broken by sin and the only way to overcome that, is everyday, come to God humble and aware of that truth.

Once again, how simple is that truth, yet how easy it is to complicate it.

God is sufficient.