big moments

Last week my little sister graduate college, this week my older sister gets married and in two weeks I am moving to Pasadena to start a new chapter of life. These are all big moments, the kind of moments where your life starts heading in a completely new direction, the kind of moments where you can see a distinct difference between who you were before this moment and who you became after.

Between the big moments are tons of little moments that change who you are, and change you in ways that get you to the big ones. In the last two years I have experienced a lot of these moments, some of them really beautiful, some of them really painful and some that I didn't even realize how important they were when they were happening. These moments are the ones that explain who you are, they are the moments that you have to relive as you let people in so that they can know you. As I think about my next chapter and meeting new people, I find myself being overwhelmed with having to relive these moments. A lot of the things are still fresh and I've spent time closing myself off so that they don't need to be relived. Although I know that this is part of life and to be in community and relationships you have to explain how you got to the moment you are in, but sometimes I wish I could just start over in a new place without having to go back into my past.

My sisters and I are all experiencing big moments, big life changes, but there is no explanation needed. We already know how each of us got to where we are, we already know how we became the people that we are. Tonight, I am grateful for that, grateful that I have people in my life who already know, who have been there, and who have loved me in all those moments.

To be loved and known that deeply and genuinely is the most beautiful thing in the world.