a new year..yet again

I love the new year, I love having a fresh start, I love being able to leave things in the past and walk into a new year without carrying those things into it. 2012 was a year of figuring things out, of taking steps towards getting my life back on track and piece by piece and month by month it was accomplished. I started 2012 as a nanny and a sales associate at anthropologie with no clue what was next or what I wanted. I'm entering into 2013 happy with who I am, confident about the direction I am headed in, and so incredibly excited to see what 2013 holds. I've never entered into a new year like this, sure I always had things to leave behind and things I was excited for, but I've never started a year so happy with my life and the people in it. 

 

Every year I make resolutions, and every year I fail to accomplish even one of them. They are always silly things like eat less candy, go the gym more, one year it was learn how to play the guitar. For those of you who know me (I dont really know who reads my blog, if anyone does at all) you know I will never decrease my candy intake, I will also probably never go to the gym more than once a week, and that year I set out to learn to play the guitar, I think I went the whole span of it without touching one. So this year I have not made resolutions but I have set goals for myself. I have taken time to think and pray about the things I want to accomplish before this time 2014 comes around. 

I want to learn to love deeper, to love in a way that changes you. A love that allows people so deeply into your heart that your story is forever changed because of who that person was. 

I want to learn to forgive in a deep and genuine way, to not hold on so tightly to hurt, because in the end dragging around all that baggage does more harm than good. 

I want to spend my year trusting God. I want to take steps forward into the darkness confidently knowing that God is in control. I want to be excited about possible adventures, relationships, moves, and jobs because I know that His plan and His timing is far greater than anything I could plan myself. 

I want to become a teacher. I want to experience having a classroom and students and the extremely overwhelming honor of getting to impact their lives as they impact mine. 

I want to make a difference, it doesn't matter how big or how small but I want to make a difference this year. To know that it was worth it, to know that I made a mark and that my life was used for something bigger than myself. 

I have a feeling this is going to be a good year. A year that things fall into place and I see the beauty and light at the end of this tunnel I've been traveling in for quite some time now. I hope my feeling is right, I hope I learn more about life this year, more about the woman that I am and the one I am continuing to grow towards. I hope I soak in everything this year has to offer and go to sleep at night knowing that I did not take one day for granted.